He Wasn’t Being Bad — He Was Overwhelmed. The School Expelled Him Anyway.

This post is for Utah parents who’ve been blindsided by the school discipline process. You get a call saying your child is suspended—or worse, expelled—and they say it’s because of something serious. A threat. A meltdown. A drawing. A hallway incident.

You ask what’s happening. They mention “zero tolerance” or the “Safe Schools Act.” They don’t mention your child’s IEP. They don’t schedule a team meeting. They just show you the door.

I talk to parents like you every day. I know how confusing and emotional this gets. And I also know: what’s happening is not just unfair—it’s illegal.

Let’s Talk About the Law

If your child has an IEP or 504 Plan, and they are suspended or removed for more than 10 total school days, the school is legally required to hold a manifestation determination meeting.

This meeting must ask two questions:

Was the behavior caused by your child’s disability?
Did the school fail to follow the IEP?

If the answer to either is yes, the school cannot continue the removal. Instead, they must change the IEP or placement and provide behavior supports. But far too often, the school skips the meeting, or holds it just to rubber-stamp the removal.

This isn’t a technicality. It’s the difference between support and abandonment.

The Red Zone and the Light Switch

When a child with emotional regulation issues becomes overwhelmed, they enter what I call the red zone. Their nervous system is flooded. Their body is tense. They’re past the point of compliance—they’re just trying to survive the moment.

This is when the most defiant or chaotic behavior shows up. This is also when the system tends to punish hardest.

Here’s how I explain it to parents:

Expecting a child in the red zone to make the “right choice” is like flipping a shorted-out light switch. Sometimes the light comes on. Sometimes it doesn’t. But it’s not because the switch is bad—it’s because the wiring is shot.

You wouldn’t punish a light bulb for that. And yet, that’s what schools often do.

These are not calculated choices. These are manifestations of dysregulation. They’re impulsive, reactive, and often beyond the child’s control in that moment.

Punishing that doesn’t fix it. Teaching regulation does.

This Is Bigger Than a Suspension

You may feel ashamed. Or embarrassed. You may even feel like your child is out of control and doesn’t deserve to stay. But here’s the truth:

According to the ACLU, students with IEPs have a 35% chance of incarceration in their lifetime. If they have a single police interaction before graduation, that number jumps to 85%.

This isn’t about excusing behavior. It’s about redirecting it. If we don’t fix it now, we may not get another shot. Because once a child is labeled as dangerous, every future mistake becomes ammunition for exclusion.

They don’t get support. They get pushed out.

So What Can You Do?

If your child is being removed from school and they have an IEP or 504, here’s what I recommend:

Request a manifestation determination meeting in writing. Use those words.
Ask for all incident reports, emails, and behavior logs related to the event.
Document all IEP supports that were skipped before the behavior occurred.
Request a Functional Behavior Assessment (FBA) and a new behavior plan if needed.
Do not agree to withdraw your child until the team meets.

You don’t have to go to war. But you do need to protect your child’s legal rights and long-term future.

This Isn’t About Defending the Behavior

Let’s be real: your kid might’ve done something disruptive. Maybe even something serious. But that doesn’t mean they’re dangerous. It doesn’t mean they deserve to be discarded.

What they need is help. Structure. A plan. If I get your child “off” on a technicality, but we never figure out why they acted that way or what to do differently next time—then we’ve lost.

This isn’t about winning. It’s about changing course before it’s too late.

If This Is Your Family—Call Me

I help Utah parents navigate manifestation determinations and wrongful school removals. I don’t sugarcoat. I don’t sell false hope. But I do fight for what the law guarantees and what every child deserves.

Mark Adamson
Special Education Attorney
Phone: 541-251-0570

No forms. No fluff. Just answers.

If you know a parent going through this—or if you’re in a Facebook group or community where this hits home—send this to someone. Copy the link. Post it. Email it. Start the conversation.

Because if we don’t fix this now, the system won’t wait. It’ll move on. And your child will be left behind.

Join the revolution. Demand better.

Wednesday, March 26, 2025